All summer long and into the fall my son George and I had a project. Well, as much as anyone can have a project with a four year old. I had carved the summer out to practice trying new things with my camera. I've had my Fuji x100s for two years and I wanted to stretch myself and also practice failing a little (such an ESSENTIAL life skill). So every couple weeks, as the last light was failing and my husband was taking his evening nap I would whip out my camera and my son would just do whatever he was usually doing meaning jumping or laughing or blowing a balloon or eating ice cream and I would multi task, answering his questions about where the sun goes at night and also snap snap snapping. All the pictures are taken in our living room or on our porch. I did not ask my tiny human to pose for any of them or to be in any mood other than what he was in. All in all we did it five different times, and when we were done we were done.
I think I'm supposed to say that high paid, high glamor photography is my favorite, but the secret truth is that this is my favorite kind of photography. No expectations or pressure. Nobodies life is ruined if we miss the shot and have to try again. So what if everything is crap and we throw it all away? At least we tried. At least we saw what we could do. George surely didn't have expectations other than that I would pay attention to him and I don't have any because I don't even know if my camera can do what I'm asking.
This is who I want to be as a mom, as a photographer and a human. Someone who creates situations where it's OK if we just PLAY.
Dear Reader, you know I am all about play. It's practically my middle name.
So here they are, our experiments, our expressions of love for each other and for ourselves. I like them so much. I like that they are weird and beautiful and utterly unique. I love that the 2016 Olympics are on in the background and the computer is on and his face is all dirty and his body is so beautiful, half baby and half child. I like that when I will see them in the future, I will remember our nights together, alone in the fading golden northern light.
This is the way we live. This is us. This is real. This is special.